Monday, April 21, 2014

Day 28 (2014)

Exercise: 50% of Diamond Cutter

Heartrate range: Anywhere from 125-169 (zone is 132-152)

Decided to try and go all out with the 50 minute Diamond Cutter tonight... however, around the 28:00 mark, my body said, "That's enough, Jim!" It is of the utmost importance for me to listen to my body. Forget about being hardcore or badass... I need to take baby steps to get back to the DC; even if that means sticking to Energy, FatBurner, Below-the-Belt & Red Hot Core for a while. In a sense, it kinda feels like starting over.

As I am typing this, I am a hot, sweaty, shaky mess. I really need to take it easy. I thought with the C4 Pink Lemonade-flavored powder, I could power through a near-hourlong workout. However, 28 minutes was enough for me.

Being back on the mat was so liberating for me. It was like nothing bothered me for that brief time. Nothing could stop me from doing what I needed to do to sweat, stretch, and just get in sync again. I will say, for the first time in quite a while, I did not feel like a social pariah.

Not sure when I'm going to schedule my next counseling appointment. Financial constraints are making it a tad bit impossible. (Although, I AM going to a NASCAR race in May! YAAAAAAY!!!!)

Anyway, that's enough from me this evening. It's a long way back to the top, but once I get there, I intend to plant my feet harder and stay there. Fight to stay on top again. Last time, I just didn't fight the elements of life. I was unprepared and fell rock bottom.

Living life at 90%,


P.S. I think the video in this entry fits me perfectly. "I'm gunna knock you out!"

Sunday, April 20, 2014

Realization, reconciliation and redemption

Hello, folks. It's been a while. I am sorry. Having said that, I'd like to have a little chat. So, grab something to drink, sit down, kick back, and read on, please.

Happy Easter... Christ has risen! The Easter story has been one that's always fascinated me. It's a story about redemption, forgiveness and hope.

Let's get right to it...

4/11/14- Decided to swallow my pride and heed a friend's advice: finally see a "professional counselor." Made me really reach deep in my brain to figure things out. (I love when people make me do that.) Here's what was concluded:

-I have Seasonal Affective Disorder. Meaning, that as the weather gets worse, so do my moods. I noticed that I had NO energy during the winter, ate a lot, slept a lot, rarely did my DDPYoga, and was short with people. Apparently, this all really started after I got back from my Super Bowl Weekend in the Carolinas. The situation with the girl I like, along with the lack of employment in January & February, my mother being in consistently poor health, throw in some drama regarding a website I am/was involved with (up to the boss and the rest of the team if I can come back) combined with the horrible, horrible weather this winter really made things bad for me.

-My tendency is (and always has been, apparently) to disguise my depression as anger. When angry, I tend to lash out on the spot, especially on social media, towards the wrong people or sometimes towards nobody in particular. It had an adverse effect on a couple of friendships.

4/20/14- Finally take the first real steps in this self-healing process. Here's the plan, moving forward:

I'm halfway through a 15 day cleanse. Why? For my physical health. I'm also going to hit the mat (go back to DDPYoga) every other day, also for my physical health. Workout one day, rest another day, workout, rest, and so on. At the beginning of May, I'll decide if I want to amp up my workouts or not. (Hopefully, I will.) Doing DDPYoga also did wonders for my mental health, and I'm hoping it'll come through again. Also, weekly weigh-ins will be returning. As of today, I weighed an even 290.00.

Also, I realize I may have some 'splainin to do at some point as to why I did some of the things I did. That's fine. I'll man up and explain EVERYTHING.

Time is simultaneously the ultimate destroyer and the greatest healer of all things.

I have to right my own ship. I am truly trying to make an effort to make myself right again... perhaps this was the wakeup call I needed. Go back to the holistic method that I've been using until recent months. (Mind, body and spirit and emotions with DDPYoga, eating right, living positively, etc.)

And. Here. We. Go.

(For further reading on the connection between SAD & Anger, click this link and this other one. This one may be helpful, too. I think this one is useful, as well.)

Monday, April 14, 2014

Day 27 (2014)

Workout: Fat Burner

The rebuilding begins.

Had an awesome 25 minute Fatburner workout. Feel amazing.

One day at a time.

Live life at 90%, but take it 1 day at a time.

Til Wednesday.


P.S. I'm not giving up

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Day 26 (2014)

Exercise: Fat Burner

No Fat Burner & Red Hot Core tonight. This was a case of I'm cranky and I needed to listen to my body.

Heart-rate was solidly in the zone (132-152) the entire workout, and I even got as high as 171. Whew!! This C4 seems to help me quite a bit.

Tomorrow's workouts: Below-the-Belt & Red Hot Core.

I'll make up the missed RHC when I draw the "Red Hot Core" exercise. I'll just do a double!

Til tomorrow,


Sunday, March 23, 2014

Day 25 (2014)

Exercises: Energy! & Red Hot Core

ROCKED that workout!! With the help of the C4 Cellucor energy supplement powder, I was able to POWER my way through that entire workout, and never got tired! WOOHOO!!

Heartrate was as high as mid-160s, which meant I was indeed "engaging right."

Tomorrow's workout: Fat Burner + Red Hot Core (at least, that's what I drew, anyway.)

Til tomorrow!


Saturday, March 22, 2014

Redoing the Challenge

Going to re-do my DDPYoga challenge.

I have the following slips of paper folded up and put into a glass, ready to draw daily every week:

1) Energy + Red Hot Core
2) Fat Burner + Red Hot Core
3) Red Hot Core
4) Diamond Cutter
5) Below-the-Belt + Red Hot Core
6) Strength Builder + Red Hot Core

Basically, the "Luck of the Draw" dictates which workout I do each day. The REST will only be used once a week.

Also, I'm going to have some help in the form of supplements.

I am going on a 10-day cleanse with Whole Body Cleanse, along with some Flaxseed Oil Pills, and some C4 Cellucor.

I am determined to get my weight out of the 293.4 range even if it kills me!


Sunday, March 16, 2014

Days 23 & 24 (2014)

Day 23 Exercise: Energy

Day 24 Exercises: Energy & Red Hot Core

So, I managed to do my DDPYoga on Saturday & Sunday! I am proud of myself, that's for sure!

Made a very startling (and, well, scary) discovery yesterday. See, the past few days, I've been waking up in the worst mood possible--angry at the world, and ready to just snap at the first person who looked at me the wrong way. I was angry at the world, moody, couldn't sleep worth a shit, and had a sky-high heartrate.

Yesterday was when I decided to Google "Hydroxycut Hardcore Side effects" out of curiosity. And, the side effects were what I've been experiencing since I started taking the supplements. Right away, I flushed them down the toilet and threw the bottle away. I did NOT need to have that going on in my life.

Tomorrow, I'll be looking into C4, as originally suggested by someone.

Anyway, last night and today, my heartrate was normal while working out, highest I got was 154, which was awesome. Everytime I checked, I was in between my ZONE of 132-152, so that's great.

Rethink your life. Step back. Get out of the rat race for a moment and look at yourself. Have you accomplished the goals that were once important to you? Have you created the impact, made the moves and achieved the things that matter most to you at this point in your life? Is your life working for you now, or are you just working to make it in life? 
Ask yourself...what will make you happy? Then, actually set out to do it! Make the decision not to settle for things as they are. Dream about what you want and will make a difference in living your life. You deserve the best that life has to offer, less drama, less stress, more appreciation and respect for your life, and for who you are. Design, create and step into a life that you are proud of living. You deserve!

I need to start working towards my goals again. Once I figure out how to overcome the obstacles and roadblocks, there's nothing or nobody that's gunna stop me!

Get out of my way!

Living life at 90%,